Sex Therapy for Open Relationships and Consensual Non-Monogamy
Things I hear my clients say…..
"We're thinking about opening our relationship, but we're not sure if it's right for us. We also don't know where to start."
"We've opened our relationship and are struggling with intense jealousy or hurt feelings."
"We've been non-monogamous for some time, but this new person or relationship dynamic has thrown us for a loop and we don't know what to do."
*These are generalized statements and not direct quotes from any clients.
Did you know that 34% of people in the US describe their ideal romantic relationship as "something other than monogamous"?
More and more people are discovering that there are more options available to them than traditional monogamy and, while it's an exciting prospect, it can also be overwhelming just figuring out where to start.
There is new terminology to learn, apps to download and books to read. Many of my clients find themselves struggling to understand what labels mean and what might fit for them: am I polyamorous or non-monogamous? Do I have or need a hierarchy and how do I describe it? What is “compersion” and how do I access it within myself?
In addition, there is a host of new issues to navigate that many established couples can feel unprepared to face. CNM (consensual non-monogamy) often requires deeper and more regular communication. Feelings like jealousy can feel bigger than before and need more care and knowledge around sexual health and how to practice safer sex can become much more important.
Wherever you're at on your journey of non-monogamy - be it navigating the difficulties of opening up a formerly closed relationship or facing a difficult chapter in an established open relationship, working with a CNM (consensual non-monogamy) and polyamory affirming therapist can help you gain the clarity and insight your relationship needs. I've worked with countless folks in a variety of complex CNM configurations to help them navigate issues, conflicts and patterns of misunderstanding to move towards understanding, security and intimate connection.
If you're ready to address CNM in your relationship(s), I invite you to book a free consultation with me today.
Frequently asked questions.
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Neither monogamy nor non-monogamy is inherently more or less healthy than the other. Both can be done in ways that add to or detract from one's life and relationships. With the proper knowledge, communication skills and personal awareness, consensual non-monogamy can be a space of abundant and rich connection. It's all about what you're willing to put in!
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Absolutely! Working with a knowledgeable and experienced therapist can help you envision your relationship in a non-monogamous structure, assess common pitfalls and determine whether you want to embark on the journey. There are no wrong answers.
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I hear this quite often and it can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and hurt. Couples therapy can help you determine your "wants" and "needs" so you can work together to establish agreements and individually to set boundaries to protect each of you.
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Yes and it's some of my favorite work because of the complexity and richness that polycules can present. Working with more than two can be some of the most fertile ground for personal and relational growth - it is extremely rewarding work that I am personally invested in.