Services.

Individuals.

Couples & Relationships.

  • Communication & Healthy Conflict

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  • Mismatched & Low Desire

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  • Open Relationships & Consensual Non-Monogamy

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  • Affairs & Breaches of Trust

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Performance Anxiety

Do you find yourself caught in an anxious spiral with each new sexual encounter? Do those thoughts and feelings take you so completely out of the moment that you can’t enjoy the experience? Performance anxiety is incredibly common and it can wreak havoc on our ability to connect and share pleasure with the people we love most.

The good news: talk therapy is very effective at treating this issue and it’s by far the most common issue I treat in individual therapy.

Erectile Issues

There are lots of reasons why our penises might not be doing what we want when we want and performance anxiety is just one of them.

There could be organic causes such as physical pain, tissue damage or hormone levels that affect our body’s ability to respond. There may be psychological factors such as trauma, anxiety or depression.

We will also consider relational factors like communication, attachment and gender roles. There is no silver bullet for all erectile issues, but with a little exploration, therapy can help you identify the factors impeding your ability to experience the sex you want.

Early & Delayed Ejaculation

Many men experience ejaculation sooner than they would like, leaving them and their partners feeling disappointed and wanting more from their sexual encounters. Similarly, many men experience ejaculation later than they would like, leaving them and their partners wondering if they are “doing it right” or whether attraction is waning in the relationship.

Early and late ejaculation are incredibly common and can have painful impacts on our relationships and self-esteem.

By exploring your sexual history, providing information and instilling new techniques, therapy can help you gain more control over when you ejaculate.

Porn Addiction

Many men come to my office having diagnosed themselves as “porn addicts”. Often it’s their partners who diagnose them. Many of my clients feel that their porn use is affecting their desire for their partners or that it is directly impacting their sexual performance.

The answer to what is affecting desire and arousal is often more nuanced than just watching or not watching porn. It often has more to do with a person’s awareness of their body and their comfort in the presence of others – talk therapy is well suited to cultivating these attributes.

The fact is that, while “porn addiction” is a term widely used in mainstream media, there is not enough evidence-based research to confirm that it even exists! Furthermore, many in the sex education/counseling community see the term as sex negative because addiction treatment often promotes powerlessness and abstinence. I treat what many call “porn addiction” as “out of control sexual behavior”. This is an evidence-based approach that provides a structure for balancing sexual behavior with universal health principles and personal values.

Sex Addiction

Similar to “porn addiction”, many men come to my office having diagnosed themselves as “sex addicts”. This is often (but not always) related to their perceptions of their porn usage, but can extend to any number of partnered and solo behaviors that feel distressing or even shameful. The fact is that, while “sex addiction” is a term widely used in mainstream media, there is not enough evidence-based research to confirm that it even exists!

Furthermore, many in the sex education/counseling community see the term as sex negative because addiction treatment often promotes powerlessness and abstinence. I treat what many call “sex addiction” as “out of control sexual behavior”. This is an evidence-based approach that provides a structure for balancing sexual behavior with universal health principles and personal values.

Dating

So many of my clients are faced with the daunting landscape of our modern dating world. They are discouraged and burnt out by the apps, the games, the ghosting and the pressure of finding “the one”.

Therapy can help you adopt a more sustainable approach to dating by teaching you to better assert your boundaries and desires, handle rejection, protect your sexual health, establish consent and connect securely for lasting, healthy relationships.

Healing Sexual Trauma

It’s a story I hear often: what may have started as a comfortably and consistently sexual relationship based on relatively mutual desire changes over time as the relationship changes. Maybe you’ve moved in together, gotten married or had children. Maybe you’ve just been together for long enough to have changed as individuals and partners. Regardless, the sexual connection is not the same. Maybe sex happens less frequently, it is less pleasurable when it happens or one of you is “always” the initiator.

Feelings of shame or resentment can build, communication can start to shut down and distance forms in relationships that is difficult to recover from.

Couples therapy can help you start the difficult conversation around sex and rekindle a sexual connection that works for both you.

Lower Desire

Many folks present to therapy not feeling the desire or attraction for their partner(s) that they want to and maybe once did.

There are many factors that could contribute to lower desire including masturbation practices, aging, or factors within the relationship itself such as communication, attachment wounding or unhelpful gender roles.

Therapy can help you explore the sources of lowered desire and ultimately regain the connection and pleasure you want in your relationship(s).

Communication & Healthy Conflict

By far the most common request I hear from couples/relationships is the need for healthier communication and conflict resolution. Escalation can happen so quickly when we are entrenched in a pattern of communication that blames, judges, criticizes, defends and even wounds.

The result of harmful communication is that everyone involved feels less heard and more activated – cracks in the relationship form and grow quickly into rifts that can’t be closed without help.

Therapy can help close these rifts and give you the skills you need to prevent similar ruptures in the future.

Mismatched & Low Desire

More and more folks are breaking out of the mold of traditional relationships and seeking more romantic and sexual connection outside of their formerly closed partnerships.

Whether you are in a long-term monogamous relationship and considering opening up, or you a seasoned non-monogamist, therapy can help you navigate the layered complexities of maintaining multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships simultaneously according to your unique set of values and agreements.

Open Relationships & Consensual Non-Monogamy

More and more folks are breaking out of the mold of traditional relationships and seeking more romantic and sexual connection outside of their formerly closed partnerships.

Whether you are in a long-term monogamous relationship and considering opening up, or you a seasoned non-monogamist, therapy can help you navigate the layered complexities of maintaining multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships simultaneously according to your unique set of values and agreements.

Affairs & Breaches of Trust

Affairs are some of the hardest circumstances for a relationship to overcome. Not only is disclosure painful and often traumatizing, but the emotional fallout can be overwhelming because the support structure we once had is greatly reduced.

Rebuilding trust and connection can take time, but it is possible and therapy can provide a path to healing.

A therapist can help guide the process, coach communication, explore the origins and reasons for the affair and give you the insights and tools you need to continue growing your relationship and prevent further ruptures in the future.