Couples Therapy for Mismatched & Low Desire
Things I hear my clients say…..
"I have no sex drive"
"My partner has no sex drive"
"My libido has never been this low"
"I don't want my partner the way I used to"
*These are generalized statements and not direct quotes from any clients.
It's easy to lose touch with our sexual selves and even easier to lose touch with desire and pleasure. Countless folks have arrived in my office feeling that something was missing from their sex lives.
Where once they had fulfilling and pleasurable experiences or relationships, now they experience a lack or absence of desire and/or pleasure and they are unsure how to get it back.
The effects of low desire can be wide reaching. It can cause us to question ourselves in our sexuality. Worse, still, it can instill a sense of shame, especially if we get caught up in comparing ourselves to our peers. Our partners may struggle to understand our differing sexual drives or to support us through it. The results can be misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and conflict.
Particularly for those relationships where sexual intimacy remains an important component, having lower desire, or a partner with lower desire, can do real harm to a romantic relationship and disrupt otherwise healthy and strong connections. In some couples, it can even lead to [desire discrepancy].
Sexual desire is shaped by far more than just attraction or willpower. Low desire can be influenced by stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship dynamics, resentment, medical factors, porn use, shame, identity shifts, or prioritizing [performance] over pleasure.
Sex therapy can help you make sense of this complex web of factors and get to the roots of what is standing in your way of having the relationship to sex you want. In therapy, I will get to know you and your history and take a tailored approach to helping you cultivate desire within your unique self and get back to the kind of sexual relationships you want to have.
If you're ready to get started, I invite you to book a free consultation with me today.
Frequently asked questions.
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Low libido is absolutely normal and one of the most common issues I hear in therapy. In fact, normalizing the ebbs and flows of sexual desire is one of the most important parts of my job. You are normal regardless of the desire you feel and skillful sex therapy can help you determine what to do with it and how to influence it.
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Yes, sexual desire may return after a hiatus! After an exploration into your sexual history, sex therapy can help you identify reasons your desire may have waned and support you in getting it back.
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Yes, men also experience lower sexual desire! Sex therapy can help men to understand the factors that may have led to a shift in libido and give them to tools to restore it.
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This varies widely depending on the issue, but I ask clients to plan for at least 10 sessions with me to establish a relationship, get a thorough background on your sexual history, and to give our work a chance to produce the change you're wanting to see.