Sex Therapy for Affairs and Betrayal
Things I hear my clients say…..
"I want to trust again, but I'm so angry and hurt."
"I've made a huge mistake. I just want to repair my relationship and make sure this doesn't happen again."
"I never thought it could happen to us - I have no idea how to recover from this."
*These are generalized statements and not direct quotes from any clients.
Affairs and other breaches of trust are more common in relationships than most people expect and they can affect even the longest and most established relationships with little to no warning and often with devastating consequences.
For many reasons, relationships shift over time and it's not always towards closeness. Disconnection and resentment can build.
Distance can form in our blind spots. Needs go unmet and important emotional experiences go unheard. In my experience, these are the moments that people are the most vulnerable to breaking their relationship agreements.
Discovering the affair can be traumatic and the fallout can cause immense damage to a relationship. It's bad enough that trust has been broken, but in the wake of an affair we often find ourselves saying things that we can't take back or making big decisions that have lasting consequences. Navigating the hurt while trying to function in day-to-day life as partners or coparents, can prove overwhelming and give rise to further cycles of conflict and re-wounding.
I've worked with countless couples to navigate the process of disclosure, accountability and ultimately healing and reconnection. I've found that the therapy office can provide a safe container to express some of the hardest and biggest feelings without causing further damage to each other and the relationship. Therapy can help you process, understand, and move forward from hurt towards a future that protects and honors each of you.
If you're ready to address an affair or breach of trust in your relationship, I encourage you to reach out and schedule a free consultation with me today.
Frequently asked questions.
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Absolutely. No relationship is perfect and the strongest ones are often the ones that navigate rough waters together. Using a structured approach via couples therapy can often help relationships recover to an even stronger state than before the affair.
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Yes, both partners MUST be committed to the process. Regardless of who betrayed whom, the work of rebuilding trust very much takes two people willing to lean into difficult discussions to co-create a new relationship that is more solid and secure.
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This varies widely depending on the state of the relationship, the nature of the affair and the communication skills and emotional intelligence of each partner. 6 months is fast, but possible. More than likely this work will span for 6 - 12 months, and possibly more.
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That's ok too. Couples therapy can be a great place to reevaluate your commitment and agreements. Success does not always mean reconnecting and staying together - sometimes it means uncoupling. If you decide on separation, couples counseling can help you do it in a way that minimizes further hurt.